The doctors asked me, “Did you share your story yet?” I felt that I was not used to typing and writing with my mobile, so I bought a lot of manuscript paper and  started writing. I have read the articles several times over the past few days. My mood went up and down following authors and many moms. No matter how many times I read these articles, I am very touched when I see these articles for the first time! Those of us who are lost and want to be mothers are like lost migratory birds. Fortunately, we meet you who are leading us, let us restart the navigation and fly back to the arms of the children.

Childhood’ Wish: Be a Mom and Grandma

I find that there are many incredible things in life. The time sequence of each person's appearance or the moment of departure seems to have been carefully designed. I still remember the wish written in elementary school: I want to be a mother and a grandmother when I grow up! "I hope to be able to cook delicious bento every day like my mother, and to have magic like grandma to make little babies!" Grandma is a midwife, who is my idol for life! When I started to seriously imagine that grandma was holding my child, my grandma suddenly passed away silently! I suddenly lost the biggest spiritual leader in my life and sent away my beloved grandma. I had to grow up and finally began to face my infertility problem.

Rethink Having My Own Child

When my IVF treatment went into chaos, my sister-in-law had found the cancer, I was shocked to suspend all treatments. When she was preparing to be hospitalized for chemotherapy, I was fortunate enough to be elected as the most suitable candidate for taking care of my nephew with high votes. In this way, my nephew quietly appeared and entered my daily life. The time of caring for a little kid flew by. In just a few months, he grew from a newborn into a baby. Although the process has ups and downs, we felt happy. He brought happiness to me and my family. After my sister-in-law's breast cancer has improved, the results of chemotherapy have gone well. I was inspired and made me decide to go back to the Stork Fertility Center again!

I still remember the first time I went to Stork to draw blood and was so nervous.I was so nervous that I couldn’t sit properly, and my hands trembled unwillingly. The nurse who took the blood comforted me, "Don't be afraid, it's just like you used to take blood." I replied to her, “I didn’t do this before.” The nurse returned to me: "What? You haven't drawn blood ever?!" My husband and friends helped me answer the nurse: "Yes, she has never drawn blood... " When I got home, I tried to fight out: "Has everyone had a blood test before the age of 41?" The first ovulation injection was the same situation too. The nurse said to me, "Just like a normal injection, just a prick. " I replied, "Apart from the vaccinations given at school, I have never had a shot." The nurse replied, "Really? Maybe you just forgot it..."

No Eggs Could Be Fertilized

For the sake of giving birth and endless egg retrieval, I became less confident, and thought negatively. Once I expressed to the doctor that I wish to continue egg retrieval, the doctor said: "Ok! We will get it until the end." And at the last egg retrieval, I remember that the course of treatment was "Double stimulations". For the second time, there were still 4 to take.I walked out of the hall after the retrieval. My husband said to me, "Why didn't they call me for the sperm?" I started to panic. I asked the staff as I met them, and no one answered me. They just said that the doctor will explain it. 

Finally, I met the doctor. As soon as I entered the door, I asked immediately. The doctor asked me to sit down first. I said it's okay to talk without sitting. The doctor said that there was nothing in the 4 eggs...It seemed to be sentenced to death! There is a glimmer of hope that I can get eggs and fertilize them. Now there are no eggs that can be fertilized, I felt completely hopeless! Since that time, I stopped taking eggs. Friends thought I gave up. But no, I couldn’t help recalling the conversation that happened that day between the doctor and me.

Blessing From Passionate Embryologist

I thought I am a lucky person, school, work, marriage…, everything went though well. However, when it came to having a baby, I felt disturbed and discouraged. Once I went to Stork for an ovulation injection. After that, the nurse said ”I wish you could be pregnant soon.” I replied “Oh! really? I hope so too.” “”We” all wish you could be pregnant soon.” I still remember the conversation, just like yesterday, so touching. I realize that we have the same wish and direction. I really appreciate that you are all taking care of our embryos day and night.

My family has always been my strongest backing. But I thought that only you can really understand and experience the feelings of the IVF mothers, because you know all the details and processes better than ourselves. Especially a passionate embryologist like Anges ! Imagine the frustration they encountered when culturing embryos. Doctors have told me that you would be scolded if the embryologist didn’t do well. I understand that they are not upset because of being scolded, because they feel sad for the embryos. There are bad embryos in natural conception, not to mention the way of culture. But I believed that because of  embryologists, I can take shortcuts and have healthier and stronger embryos.

Decided to Taking Baby Home

I paused for several months due to frustration. One night I received a New Year greeting from Angel. She stored my baby embryo in a liquid nitrogen tank and took pictures to tell me that they were safe. The menstrual period just came that night, and I took the liberty to ask her: "Can I still catch up with the ERA treatment?" Thanks Angel for always caring about me and sharing New Year gifts with me. This is my best memory! Although it’s only a 5 digit number and three characters (my name) that have followed me for 43 years, tears are in my eyes when I see this picture! I watched it many times and said good night to the two embryos every night. I also added this commemorative picture together. I hope that in the future, the children will be able to see these pictures.

Finally, I finally came to the implantation cycle. However, the cervical bacterial culture report showed abnormality, and it was necessary to use antibiotics. To be honest, after I walked out of the clinic, I was very sad. In order to prevent the staff around the doctor from seeing me gaffes, I tried my best to conceal my disappointment. After getting in the car, I couldn’t help crying. For me, who was allergic to penicillin, but can only use penicillin for treatment now. Is it my hygiene

problem? Why are these bacteria in my uterus? For the first time, I took the new antibiotics prescribed by the doctor. My husband asked me what am I muttering to? ! I said, "Hello Penicillin. It’s been a long time since I saw you. I have rejected you before. Please don’t care about the prejudices, reconcile with me and help me. I need you! Please don’t let my face swell up, please help me treat my body~ Please, Penicillin." "Bacteria, bacteria, I don’t pay attention to my body and make you bad bacteria. I have neglected you. From now on I will pay more attention to my own hygiene. Please reconcile with me and become better. Please help me."

For me, the fantasy drifting in the past two years, this is the most elaborate masterpiece of God!

After the implantation and before the pregnancy test, I was surprised that the doctor would call me in person. After the implantation, my brain was full of implantation, implantation, implantation...So when I heard the doctor’s voice, I wasn’t nervous or happy, but with a glimmer of hope, I asked the doctor: "Is abdominal distension and backache sometimes caused by medication?" The doctor replied, "It might be..." Is the last little hope of this period disillusioned? I can only tell myself that the doctors make so many calls to those who want to be mothers every day. It’s just a normal conversation. Failing the oral exam today doesn’t mean that the admission will be successful tomorrow. I understand that the doctor is caring!

Entering the countdown stage. I somehow recall some classic quotes from doctor:

• One time I questioned him about something, the doctor said, "I know that you come to me sincerely from Taipei, you just trust me! Don't doubt my approach, okay?"

• There were several months of continuous egg retrieval. One time the doctor said, "I think you are serious now! Good! It will make you reverse and win!"

• I asked: "Was it ok to ride back and forth after the implantation? I am worried that the brakes will be frightening!" The doctor said, "My wife gave birth to a child while the house was  being renovated, it was noisy every day. My two children are very normal. Don’t be superstitious!"

In fact, sometimes when the doctor is in a good mood, he could talk about everything, and share the great principles of life. Now in retrospect, the doctor isn’t crazy every time. I should write notes after every outpatient visit. On the day of the implantation, I wanted to say: "I am grateful that after the implantation, I can have such a comfortable guest room, so that I can relax and stay in peace, and help me smooth the implantation."

Announce the Day of Pregnancy

"You must have not been able to sleep well these days, are you feeling ok?" The doctor said. “Please! Your Honor, please pronounce the sentence directly! I will never appeal! The question you are asking is not important at all... (I actually wanted to answer: I am not feeling well physically, I am not feeling well mentally!).” "This is the result of your urine test. The line is not obvious, but you can still see a little shallow line. The blood draw is more accurate, index 358. Don't be worried anymore, your biggest problem is your mood. After going home, try to relax, do what you like, and leave the rest to us!" Then he suddenly said, "Congratulations, you are pregnant!" Before I could get my composure, the nurse closed the door.

As I walked, I asked my husband, "Did you hear what the doctor said in the last sentence?  "Yes, the doctor said congratulations on your pregnancy!" My husband said. I asked my husband, "Are you sure the doctor is talking to me?" "Apart from us and the nurse in the clinic, is there anyone else?" As a result, I'm truly pregnant!

On the day of tracking the heartbeat, the doctor smiled when he heard the baby's heartbeat! When he returned to the clinic, the doctor smiled brightly! He never stopped smiling. He kept smiling even when he looked at the computer. I finally didn't get scolded for the first time on that day. Although the doctor said, "I can barely see it.” He would not encourage me but only scare me. Actually, the doctor can talk casually. Yesterday he started a lesson to teach me how to eat. He said that he often bought bentos from the Taiwan Railway when he came to Taipei. He said that I can't eat better than him! He also said a lot of things that I should pay attention to during pregnancy. To be honest, my gynecologist in Taipei didn’t tell me that much. It turns out that the doctor can chat like a sister drinking afternoon tea, and finally can end every outpatient scolding.

Baby Was Delivered Safely by Stork

After getting pregnant, one day when we passed by Stork, I asked my husband to stop for a while. I touched my belly and said, “baby, this is your home too. You used to live here for a long time. You came to this world to meet mom and dad from the place where you are here. Mom and dad thank you for being our child.”

On the day of delivery, I had mixed feelings. The baby was crying so loudly, I asked the doctor, is the volume of the baby normal? The doctor replied, "It's loud to the Presidential Palace!" The operation was so fast and the process didn't hurt at all. The nurse asked me if I needed to see the baby and let me fall asleep. I said that I don't need to sleep, I want to listen to her crying. It’s really hard to express the feeling of seeing the baby. A while ago, my husband suddenly said to me: "The nephew is so needy to us and so supportive to me. He is actually like our son, so it's best for us to have a daughter. ” My husband always has his own philosophy, and always sees farther and more beautiful scenery than I can.

Holding my daughter, I was thinking of telling the person who helped me, that the child was born healthy and safe! The baby has landed safely! Thank you, Stork.